- Tiny Toons Adventures  Spooky Stories 3-
By Abel DuSable
(dusable@mts.net)

Up opening theme music as played by a chorus of Musical Saws
 We're victims, we're Quarry. 
We're looking kinda Sorry.
There's a head in a Jar-y
Looking straight at me!
We feel nothing but dread
Stalked by the undead.
And Abel's spooky stories
Are now a Trilogy!

So here's Acme Acres,
It's our personal field of screams
The wind will groan
When you're alone
Like in some twisted dream.
This script was rejected
That much should be expected
It's Abel's Spooky Stories
Please feel free to scream!

Their brains have gone funny
They're Babs and Buster Bunny,
Montana Max has got a Gun-y
Elmyra's like Marquis de Sade
Hamton's been Trick-ed
Dizzy Devil's wicked,
Furrball's quite livid,
And Gogo has gone MAD!

At Acme Loonaversity something stalks the halls. 
We use the phones
for help from home
but noone answers our calls.
We're tiny, we're toony,
We're starting to go quite loony
It's Abel's Spooky Stories
From his poisoned pen.

Dare you enter his den?




Exterior: Acme Acres, night.
The Full moon is high over Acme Acres with only a few whips of cloud passing by it's bright bone-white surface. 
The camera pans down to a large field filled with golden wheat. Two furrows appear in the dense crop to mark the passing of two small figures. Sticking up from the grain like a set of periscopes are a pair of long rabbit ears and a large brown bushy tail.

Duncan: (The Ears stop and droop slightly.)
"Skippy?"

Skippy: (The tail stops and turns to 'face' the ears)
"Yeah, Duncan?"

Duncan:
Are you sure this is the right way? I can't exactly see a thing in these.. Uh... amber waves of grain.

Skippy:
Duncan. We're running away from home. As long as we're not headed TOWARDS our homes I think we're walking in the correct direction.

Duncan: (The ears suddenly perk up and turn from left to right)
Alright, alright. Just asking. Say... I know this is weird but do you hear something? Like... organ Music?

Skippy:
Not really but I don't have adjustable antenna like you... *SNIIIIIF* But I can smell something that smells a lot like candy apples and popcorn.

The Tail and Ears dash off to the edge of the Wheat where Skippy Squirrel (Animaniacs) emerges with Duncan Bunny (From I was a Teenaged Bunnysitter). They stare out with wide-eyed amazement and in harmony speak a hushed  "No Way!".

The Camera angle adjusts to a reverse shot behind their heads and rises up slowly in a crane shot to reveal a large field with patches of scrub but in the field is a large Carnival. Rides are being assembled, tents raised and booths lined up in a long Midway.  

Skippy and Duncan walk down through the main 'gateway' where they fail to look up at the sign looming above them with the off-red letters "PLUCKY'S CARN-EVIL" in their slightly drippy glory. They walk among the displays and watch the people at work. 
The butchers prepare their wares, The Abominable Snowman making Snowcones, Yosemite Sam's Dragon making Popcorn, Gossimer making Cotton Candy and Witch Hazel making Candy Apples.

Along the midway Count Bloodcount, Melvin and Oogie are seen stocking the shelves of macabre games such as "Whack a Hand", "The Noose Toss" and "You'll Put your Eye Out!"  with equally macabre prizes such as Boxes of Chocolate marked "Ladyfingers", Rather tortured-looking voodoo dolls with glowing eyes and an assortment of Black Bottles marked "Coffin Liqueur". 

The Rides are no better, the two pausing only momentarily to watch the Gremlin add water to a batch of Instant Martians and then put them to work in assembling Mount Rustmore... Badly. Continuing on they pass an Octopus-shaped creature working on an Octopus ride with a Mummy while the Ghost from "Boo Ha Ha" is in the middle of Brushing the teeth on a Horse on the "Scary-Go-Round". He pauses to knowingly smirk at the passing lads while the toothpaste froth drips from the Black steed's maw to give it's carnivorous grin a rabid appearance.

Duncan: 
Wow... This is sweet! Look at all the great costumes. They're all halloweened to the walls here!

Skippy:
I'll say. Looks like hard work but still fun... At the risk of being sued for using someone else's catchphrase, are you pondering what I'm pondering Duncan?

Duncan:
If you mean you and me pander to an old youthful stereotype, then yes. Yes I am pondering what you're pondering. 

Skippy and Duncan: (In unison)
LET'S RUN AWAY WITH THE CIRCUS!

Skippy:
Soooo... Which of these guys looks like he's in charge?

Duncan:
How about the duck in the Top hat?

The camera pans to a small Campfire to one side where Plucky in his Ringmaster outfit and is consulting a layout along with the "Screw-Ball" version of Daffy from "Duck Amuck". 
He gestures with his cane off in one direction and 'Daffy' wanders off just as the boys walk up.

Plucky:
Alright. Things seem to be going well here. I'm still not sure about the Happy-Go-Pukey ride being so close to the concession stands. Move the Bungee Jump tower next to the Clean Underpants booth and we'll have room there. 
What have we here? Paying customers? Sorry kids, we're not yet set up.

Skippy:
Actually we were thinking of joining you.

Duncan:
Yeah. You got any job openings that we could fill?

Plucky :
So you guys decided to run away from home to join the circus, eh?
(Beat)
I didn't think that kind of thing really happened. 

Skippy:
Well we're not afraid of hard work.

Duncan:
And we're young so we learn pretty quickly.

Skippy:
And neither of us are going back... (Stage Whisper)  There's pureed spinach waiting for us at home.
				
Plucky:
OK, OK. Tell you what. We're still setting up here so, why don't you kids cop a squat here by the fire while we wait for the crew to finish. Then we'll take you on the nickle tour and see where we can work you in.

Duncan:
Sounds great.
	
Skippy:
Sure. But this could take all night. What will we do to keep from getting bored until then?

Skippy and Duncan have a seat along with plucky on some logs by the fire. Then they look up and notice the presence of an Orange Bunny and a Brown mouse at a pair of easels. Both were dressed in old fashioned black pinstriped pants, black and white Spats on their feet, Red Bow Ties, white shirts with wide red vertical stripes suspenders and arm garters. The Rabbit wore a natural straw Skimmer on his head while the mouse had a pair of large glasses and a Brown Bowler. 

The two seemed to almost attack the large pads of portrait-sized paper on the easels with pens, pencils and paintbrushes. Sketching and coloring on the blank pages with maniacal energy.  The Mouse seemed to sport a wicked gleam in his eye while the Bunny appeared to have an Impish expression as they worked, oblivious to the newcomers.

Skippy:
Hey! Where did they come from?

Plucky:
Well, Andy Bunny is from Bulgaria while Thorne is from Arizona...

Skippy:
I mean they weren't here a moment ago! Where did they come from?

Duncan: 
Yeah!

Plucky:
They were always there... you simply hadn't seen them yet.

Skippy:
But... they just...

Plucky:
Thorne and Andy are the carnival's characturists., sketch artists who draw you for a fee. They have quite a flair for it. 

Duncan:
Do they talk?

Plucky:
Of course they do. They're just busy at the moment. Making posters, pamphlets, Titlecards, Fanart, Programs, and the like. I call them my 'Illustrating Men'.

Skippy and Duncan step cautiously between the mouse and bunny and look at their easels and recoil in shock.

Duncan:
That... that's SO wrong! 

Skippy:
SPEEEEW! 

Plucky: (Looking at the drawings)
Ah well, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", and similar cliches. 
Hmm... You may have had a point though. Somehow I don't think Minerva would get along *THAT* well with Lola.  

Thorne and Andy glance at one another and giggling flip to blank pages at the same time ane begin to draw anew. Plucky hovers by Andy and smiling places a hand on Skippy and Duncan's shoulders.

Plucky:
My Illustrating Men are in my opinion, among the very best. I wouldn't expect any less to be associated with my Carn-Evil. Every drawing they put to paper has a tale behind it... Ah yes. Very good Andy. You know... this picture reminds me of such a story. A little tale of unrequited love I like to call... As Ye Sew.

The Camera focuses in on the picture just as Andy Bunny writes in the words "As Ye Sew..." at the bottom. It holds position on the title card as it dissolves into a full color version then pulls back to show a Home Economics class. The toons sitting there are all female with the exception of Fowlmouth who is smackl dab in the middle of the class listening to Granny as she continues the lesson.

Granny:
And now, each of you should have a basic, completed Rag Doll.

One by one the Girls hold up their dolls, showing various degrees of sewing competence. Fowlmouth holds his up and blinks as what he has looks very similar to a Raggedy Anne doll. 

Fowlmouth:
Granny. I tink I busted my dadgum doll. It don't look much like yours 

Granny: (Adjusting her specs and taking the doll from his hands)
Mmm? Oh! Oh my! This is wonderful work Fowlmouth. Such strong stitching, an excellent grasp of the essence of the rag doll aesthetic. 

Fowlmouth:
A what of the who-what now?

Granny:
Once again, Fowlmouth you have shown an ability with sewing that exceeds your level. This is a fine Rag Doll. 

Fowlmouth:
Ya really tink so?

Granny:
Oh yes. I dare say that you could easily become a professional seamstress or tailor in time. You have a marvelous talent with a needle and thread.

Fowlmouth:
Wow. Who'd a thunk it? I just took this dadgum girly class because I thought Shirl might like me more if I was more... you know... sensitive. 

Granny:
Well despite your personal motives you have discovered that you have a genuine talent. How would you like to make an extra credit, Fowlmouth?

Fowlmouth:
Why not? What you got in mind, Granny?

Granny:
You did wonderful work with rag dolls, but I'd like to see what you can do on your own. You may think this class is... girly (looks at all the girls in the class and giggles) and maybe it is, but I'd like you to do a project that shows that there's nothing wrong with boys knowing how to sew.  Make a doll that you think would be marketable.

Fowlmouth:
Ya want me to design a plushie?

Granny:
You got it in one, dearie.

Fowlmouth:
Heck, I'm here, I might as well go all the way.

Granny:
That's the spirit!

The scene goes into a brief montage of Fowlmouth going through fabrics, making patterns and cutting them out. Running them through the sewing machine and stuffing it with fluff the doll takes on the shape of Shirley McLoon. 
The montage ends with him walking down the hallway looking through pink swatches of fabric and muttering to himself.

Fowlmouth:
No. No. Nope. Uh-uh. Not dat one. Dagnabbit! I just can't find da right shade of pink fer her sweater. How da heck am I gonna get a doll of Shoil perfect if da colors are off?

He suddenly stops as he sees Shirley, Babs and Fifi coming the other direction and chatting away. Shirley has a ragged pink sweater in her hands which she offhandedly tosses into a nearby trashcan.

Babs:
Sorry about spilling carrot juice on your sweater Shirley

Fifi:
Oui. And eet was jest after moi speeled grape juice on eet too. Quelle perte.

Shirly:
No biggie. I have like, a hundred of these sweaters. Besides, this one is pretty old. I was like, looking for an excuse to throw it away.

Fowlmouth stares at the sweater, half-in and half-out of the can, then at the camera and grins before snatching it and running off.

Fowlmouth:
Thank *YOU* mister lazy writer!

Cut to the Sewing lab. (Rimshot)
Fowlmouth is busy re-knitting the sweater into a doll-sized version which he places on the Shirley McLoon doll.

Fowlmouth:
Poifect! Looks jest like da real ting. Now I jest gotta find Granny and get my extra credit.
 (Chuckles)  I can't wait ta see Shoil's face when she sees dis marketable beauty. Ain't dat right Shoil? (Manipulates the mouth and does a Shirley impression) "Like, I'd LOVE to, you handsome, hunky bird, you. ...Or some junk."

Scene change, Shirley is talking to Plucky while Fifi and Babs look on in amusement.

Plucky:
So I was thinking that since my parents are out of town, you could come on over and 'Play House', Mmm?

Shirley:
Like, No Plucky.

Plucky:
Aw come on. You know you wanna. You can't resist the charms of the Puckster.

Shirley:
Plucky... Let me be as clear as a crystal ball about me coming over to your house while your parents are away... "Like, I'd *LOVE* to, you handsome, hunky bird, you. ...Or some junk!"

Shirley's eyes go wide as dinner plates as she slaps her hand over her beak. Plucky's eyes go wide and he kisses her on the cheek and dances off.

Plucky:
YAHOO! I knew I could wear you down. You two heard it! You're my witnesses!  See you there at seven Shirl! *MWAH!*

Shirley:
GAH! Where did THAT come from?

Babs:
Woah... You tell me Shirl-Girl.

Fifi:
Oui. Perhaps you have been repressing vous baser nature too much. Non?

Shirley:
I am NOT repressed!

Return to Fowlmouth who walks out of the sewing lab into the hallway with his Shirley doll. 
He turns and takes a few steps when he runs right into Montana Max. The two fall and their personal belongings fall to the hallway floor. 

Monty:
OW! Watch where you're going you social reject!

Fowlmouth:
Me? I'm walkin' here! I'm walkin' here! YOU should be watchin' out fer ME, you penny-pinching so-and-so!

Monty:
So-and-so? Why I aughta... hey. What's this? (Picks up the doll) Heh heh. A little OLD to be playing with dolls, aren't you?

Fowlmouth:
Dat dere is an easy extra credit, Monty. Now give it back.

Monty: (Peering around Fowlmouth and seeing Dizzy Devil) 
Oh? An easy extra credit, huh?
Hey! Dizzy! Monkey in the Middle!


Fowlmouth:
What? HEY! DADGUMITT!

Monty tosses the doll to Dizzy Devil	who catches it and gleefully tosses it back to Monty. Fowlmouth caught between them frantically runs back and forth futilely trying to reclaim the toy.
The camera does a brief close-up on the Doll as it goes up and down, up and down, up and down to the tune of "What do you do with a drunken Sailor?"

In another hall, Babs, Fifi and Shirley walk with a steady gait but the tune of  "What do you do with a drunken Sailor?" persists and Shirley begins to walk unsteadily. Weaving back and forth dizzily and holding her stomach as she turns an unappealing shade of green.

Babs:
You ok there? You look kinda green.

Shirley:
Woahhh... I like, don't feel so good all of a sudden. Like the last time I was out on a boat and got seasick. 

Fifi:
Vous get seasick?

Shirley:(Belches and claps her hand over her beak again.)
Violently. *BURRRP!* Bummer.

Shirley makes a gunshot dash into the ladies' room leaving a Shirley-shaped cloud behind her.

The camera returns back to Fowlmouth who is now being held by Dizzy Devil while Monty dangles the Doll before his eyes.

Fowlmouth:
Give... back... the.... Dadgum Doll!

Monty:
You... really want it?

Fowlmouth:
Yeah! 

Monty:
Then... GO GET IT KFC-FOR_BRAINS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Monty chucks the doll through the cafeteria door and Dizzy releases Fowlmouth to chase after it.
The doll soars through the air, over the servers' heads and through the small serving window into the Kitchen. It bounces gracelessly on a long counter before falling onto a large sack of potatos.

In the Ladies' Room Shirl walks out of one of the stalls while a flushing sound echoes in the background. She wipes her mouth with a paper towel when suddenly she rises into the air and is flung across the room where she comes to a rest against one wall. She blinks and with a worried expression slowly gets to her feet.

Shirley:
What... What was THAT?

In the Kitchen the tune of "Shortnin' Bread" plays as Ma Bear, without even glancing at it, picks up a potato and putting it onto a cutting board and uses a large cleaver slice it into potato-chip sized wafers at superhuman speed. She then shoves the slices into a huge pot of boiling oil, marked "Boiling Oil".
She selects another Potato, this one a little closer to the doll and repeats her action with her usual dull and unexpressive stare into the distance.

Shirley runs to the mirror and stares at her reflection. She checks her tongue, pulls one eyelid down to peer at her eyeball, then the other. She splashes cold water on her face with a shiver and groans.

Shirley:
Like, Calm down Shirley. 
There's gotta be an explanation for this. 
Maybe I ate something bad or I'm going crazy or some junk or I could be  haunted! That could explain why I just agreed to a date with Plucky, had my breakfast make a sequel and then thrown across the room like a Rag Doll.  Yeah! I... have absolutely no clue what's going on or some junk.

In the kitchen Ma Bear speeds up her pace and the music increases in tempo. Potato after potato gets hacked to bits. Then she seizes the doll, puts it on the counter and raises the cleaver high, the music goes to a fever pitch... then as the cleaver comes down the doll is seized by Fowlmouth who quickly exits.

Fowlmouth: (examining the doll)
Man! That was too close fer Dadgum Comfort. You almost lost yer head over me Shoil.
What's dis? Aw dadgumitt! She got potato juice all over ya. I can't toin ya over to granny like this.

Fowlmouth walks past the drink area of the Cafeteria line and grabbing a glass fills it with water. He sits down at a table and holds the Doll upside down over the glass. 

Fowlmouth:
I guess it's bathtime fer ya Shoil.

In the bathroom Shirley reaches for the doorknob when she rises up into the air.

Shirley:
NOT AGAIN! 

She finds herself turned upside down pulled back across the bathroom and into a stall where she levitates over one of the porcelain thrones. A bead of sweat rolls down her temple and falls to the clear water below causing it to ripple. 

Shirley:
N-No... PLEASE! Not that! ANYTHING but that! Like, I don't *DO* Bathroom humor! 

 Fowlmouth slowly lowers the doll to the water when Granny walks up to him. He immediately stops and gently sets the doll down on the table.

Granny:
Why hello, Fowlmouth. Is that by any chance your extra credit assignment?

Fowlmouth:
Oh! Hey Granny. It sure dadgum is... it got a little doity when some kids *Cough*MontannaMaxandDizzyDevil*Cough* decided to play hackey sack with it.

Granny:
Oh they're just jealous of your talents. Let's have a lookie-see at it.

Shirley finds herself lowered back to her feet without being dunked. She shudders for a moment then taking the opportunity burst back into the hallway where her friends wait for her.

Babs;
Shirley, if you're feeling sick we can see the school nurse you know. There's no reason to tough it out on our account.

Shirley:
Just... just get me as far away from this bathroom as possible. 

Babs:
Ooh... really stunk up the joint huh? That'll happen. 

Fifi: (indignant)
Zat only 'appened ONCE!

The amazing three proceeds down the hall as Shirley relates her story to them.

Shirley:
...And I was like *THIS* close to a totally grody swirley-fest. Like Gag me!

Fifi:
Zat is terrible. Sounds as if vous were ze victeem of a VooDoo Curse.

Babs:
Yeah. I've seen that in films where someone with a grudge makes a doll of you and then can cause all kinds of harm to your personal personage.

Shirley:
Sh'yeah right guys. There's like, NO such thing as VooDoo curses. Take it from a devotee of the metaphysical. Ohkay?

Babs: (Blinks and points down the hallway ahead of them)
I wouldn't say that too quickly. Look!

Babs brings the Amazing Three to an abrupt halt and gestures at the approaching Granny and Fowlmouth. The aged teacher and her pupil walk past in the opposite direction with Granny holding the Shirley Doll up high as if examining it against the lights.

Granny:
This is a fantastic reproduction of your classmate, Fowlmouth. Where ever did you find the material for the sweater?

Fowlmouth:
Aw that? She trew out one of her old sweaters and I thought I could put it to good use. 

Granny:
Excellent use of recycled materials too, Fowlmouth! Double A Plus! 

Fowlmouth:
Ya mean it? I got my extra credit?

Granny:
And then some! I dare say you have a career ahead of you in textiles and fabrics.

Shirley: (She jawdrops as her friends try to stifle a giggle)
It... It really was a VooDoo curse! He. I. I am *SO* gonna send him to his next reincarnation EARLY!

Babs:
Woah there Shirl. I don't think he knew. And it's all over with now. Right?

Fifi:
Oui oui. And worse could have happeened.

Shirl:
Worse? Like, how could that possibly have been worse?

Babs: (facepalming)
Shirley... You know better than to ask that question.

The trio's attention is suddenly wrenched away from their discussion by the obviously unexpected high pitched squeal of Elmyra. 
They slowly turn to see the redheaded menace holding the Doll aloft giggling manically. 

Granny:
Elmyra here will be an excellent test audience, Fowlmouth. A real-world stress testing of the doll's durability under extreme conditions.

Elmyra:
I love it! I'm gonna hug you, and squeeze you and love you to pieces little Loonie dolly!

Shirley:
*NOOOOO!*

Shirley cries out in terror as she lunges at the camera with arms outstretched. The scene freezes and the color drains away leaving her frozen in that pose.
The camera pulls back to show Andy ripping the picture free from his easel and slipping it into his portfolio before starting work on the next drawing.


Duncan: (shivering)
That wasn't.... too bad. Spooky but nor really scary. Right Skippy?

Skippy: (Nervous giggle)
Yeah. It was a good story, but not really scary.

Plucky:
I'm glad you kids think so. It takes more than a pair of hands and a strong back to work at the Carn-Evil. You gotta have backbone. You gotta have a strong stomach, You gotta have a stout heart, you gotta have

The Pumpkin Guy (Night Ghoulery): (Showing Plucky a bowl of brass lugnuts)
Nuts sir?

Plucky:
Hmm. These ones are made of brass. They go with the Scary-go-Round.   
Where was I? Ah yes. 
When we stop we perform every night to a packed house. That means people shuffling along the midways, ushered through the sideshows and huddling under the big top. People who marvel at the impossible, cringe at the gruesome and scream when the horrific happens. The handstands and histrionics thrill and chill them to the bone. 
These same people who rush out into the light when it is all over with. The very same people who breathe a sigh of relief and then go and tell their friends how WONDERFUL it is to be scared.

Skippy:
And what do the performers get out of all of this?

Plucky: (Ruffling Skippy's hair)
Why my boy, It's as much fun to scare as to be scared.

Duncan:
What's mister Thorne drawing?

Plucky:
Oh my. A Chuchyard in broad daylight. What could possibly be so frightening about this? After all isn't it best to have the frightening happen in the shadow?

Duncan:
Isn't it?

Plucky:
Not always. Sometimes knowing too much about such  grave consequences can be as terrible as knowing too little. For example I am reminded of a little story that is perhaps best called... Plot Complications.

The camera pans in on the pencil drawing of a large gothic church and the cemetery yard about it. Thorne draws in the title "Plot Complications" at the top and the drawing dissolves to the full color scene, the title washed out by the sun. 
The peal of Church bells ring in the background and the camera focuses upon the doorway. Buster Bunny walks out along side Daffy Duck who now bears the distinctive clothing and collar of the clergy.

Daffy:
I'm glad you rethponded to the ad we put in the paper Buthter. Timth have been hard for our church as far as groundthkeeperth are contherned.

Buster:
You're kidding. But it thoundth, I means SOUNDS like such an easy job, Reverend Daffy. 

Daffy:
It is, but I gueth that it all cometh down to the notion of working in a graveyard day in and day out.

Buster looks out at the fairly peaceful, picturesque and well-tended graveyard. Birds flutter and sing, deer graze here and there and streams of golden sunlight stream through the green boughs of the trees.

Buster:
Yeeeeeah. I can see that working here in the middle of the day can really start to get to you.

Daffy: (Handing Buster a large ring of keys)
Anywayth. Here'th the groundkeeperth  keyth. They include keyth to the groundkeeperth thed, the keyth to the Mautholeumth, the Keyth to the thnowblower, the Keyth to the thide Church door and the keyth to the thircular wall that thurroundth the church groundth... and a few otherth.

Buster: (Wiping spittle from his eyes)
I hope there are towels in the shed.

Daffy:
Anywayth. I'll let you get to it. I have some sermonithingth to script and some servitheth to thet up. See you later, my son.

Left alone Buster enters the shed and looks around at the myriad of sharp rusty implements, strange jars with mysterious contents an old reel-to-reel tape recorder on the table and a chart on the Door. He looks at the chart and runs his finger down the checkmarks on each task.

Buster:
Hmm. A list of instructions. How convenient. 
Let's see.. Everything is done for the week other than... Fertilizer. Hmmm. Fertilizer, fertilizer... Ah! Here we go!

Buster takes a large jar marked "George A. Romero's Quality Liquid Fertilizer" down from a shelf and pours the green glowing material into an agricultural sprayer. He pumps up the tank a few times and slips the backpack like unit onto his shoulders, jostling the table and accidently turning the recorder on.

Recorder:
Hi. I'm Sam Rami and welcome to the "Nothing but" director's commentary of the Evil Dead series. That's right. No movie, or outtakes or bloopers. Just me, Sam Rami, talking about the movies that made me a cult phenomenon.

The recorder continues to play as Buster walks around the cemetery. He sprays the fertilizer liberally around the grounds, leaving a green mist clinging to the ground like fog. He whistles the tiny toons theme while moving through an area with the word "Indian Burial Ground", stepping all over the graves and leaving behind large bunny footprints.

Wherever Buster goes the fog is left behind... and the earth of the graves begin to churn. The dead rise from their plots, their olive green skin wrinkled and desiccated, eyes a milky white and clothing ragged and covered in dirt clods. They groan and claw their way out of the ground and all begin to instinctively head towards Buster. The Rabbit continues to spray until he hears the groans and he slowly turns around.

Buster:
Hello? Is someone... there? Eep. Zombies! ...or the walking dead, depending on how much of a purist you are about defining corpses that get up and move around.
Looks like you guys are the slow kind too. That's good. I was worried that I might be in trouble. I mean how bad can a pack of slow-moving dead guys be?

The camera rises up in a crane shot. Moving backwards from Buster's position it shows that he is not facing one, or a dozen zombies... but over a hundred of them.
It cuts back to Buster who blinks and looks at the lens.

Buster:
Ok... when the mindless get together in large numbers it's always trouble. Just look at Washington D.C.

He drops the sprayer and starts to run with the Zombies in cold pursuit.
Every time he picks a direction the dead step out from behind a tree, a tombstone or their hands rise up from the ground to claw at him.
He manages to reach the Groundskeeper's shed and locking the door looks at the jar of liquid fertilizer.

Buster:
Instructions, instructions....  Yeah. There we go. "Use in well ventilated area, keep away from open flame, wash hands after handling, do not consume, use around children or pregnant women and keep away from the recently deceased. Side effects may include shoddy plot advancement, bad movie parodies and large numbers of hungry walking dead." Aw maaaaan!

The zombies smash the windows, sticking their arms through the holes in the wall in an attempt to get at Buster. 

Outside a group has lifted up a zombie with a striking similarity to Bruce Campbell and are using him as a battering ram. After three blows the door suddenly opens wide. 

All the dead stop and stare as the opening chords of "Thriller" echo through the air. The camera does a slow pan from Buster's feet, moving up his body to show him in Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' costume, including zombie makeup and hair. 
He begins to do the whole 'Zombie Dance' sequence before the horde. They look quizzically at one another then with a large shout attack, causing Buster to break character and run for his life.

Buster:
Nobody has respect for the classics any more!

Pulling out his keys and running up to the mausoleum uses them to unlock the door and slip inside before the Zombies can catch up. However when he closes the door behind him he discovers that the opposite side of the door is merely a smooth surface without a keyhole. 

Buster:
No... Nononononono! They didn't put a keyhole on THIS side! 
I can't lock the door, and there's no other way out! I... I'm the first rabbit in history to be a dead duck!

The zombies congregate around the mausoleum clawing at the walls and pushing the door open when there's a sudden organ blast. They all clutch their ears and recoil while Daffy Duck walks through the throng of corpses with a baseball bat in his hand. 

Daffy:
Coming through! Get back to your coffinth boyth. Make room for the living. You had your chance when you were alive. You thuffled off this mortal coil long ago, so keep on thuffling!

Angry Zombie:
Blarrrrgh!

Daffy:
Yeah yeah. I thee dead people too... and if they don't get back into their graves in five minutes I'm gonna treat any walking corpses like a bunch of gross pinatas. Do I make mythelf perfectly clear?

The zombies look at one another nervously before quicky turn around and shuffling off. 
Daffy then cautiously pushes the mausoleum door open and looks around at the inside. Coffins and large Stone urns line the walls but there's no sign of Buster Bunny. The duck walks over to one stone vase and reaching inside, pulling Buster out like a rabbit out of a hat.

Daffy:
It's thafe now thon. The walking dead are back in their graves.

Buster:
GAH! I.. I... they are? Oh thank goodness... But... How did you know where to find me?

Daffy:
Why my boy, you know the old thaying... "A Bunny Urned is a Bunny Saved!"

Buster's cry of pain from the bad pun is frozen in mid -motion. The scene dissolving into a pencil sketch on Thorne's easel before the paper it's on is torn free and placed into a large portfolio next to him.

The squirrel and bunny shudder in fear, hugging one another. Then realising that they're touching suddenly shove each other away try to pretend it didn't happen.

Skippy:
N-Not so bad.

Duncan:
Yeah. I-I kinda liked it... the story that is.

Skippy:
Yeah. The story. Good story... not really scary at all.

Duncan:
Nothing in there you'd hold another person over.

Skippy:
Nope. Nothing at all.

Plucky:
Oh. You boys have NO idea how it warms the cockles of my heart to hear you say such brave words. 

One-Eyed Jack (The Horror of Slumber Party Mountain) shambles past the boys and the artists to hand a clipboard to Plucky. It looks at Skippy and Duncan with a crooked grin before moving off in another direction.

Plucky:
Thank you Jack. Well now. It looks like we're almost all set up. But we have Juuuuuust enough time for one more story.

Duncan:
Please don't. You don't have to go out of your way.

Skippy:
Yeah. I mean we're perfectly happy sitting here in awkward silence for the duration.

Plucky:
Oh. There's no trouble at all, Boys. I'm always happy to perform for a captive audience. 
So what are you two up to... Oh! Oh my oh my.

The camera reverses angle to show Andy and Thorne pushing their easels together to create a picturesque nighttime panorama of a Summer Camp at the side of a lake. Plucky chuckles as he and the artists all turn back to face the camera with wide grins.

Plucky:
Oh what a marvelous location... for a yarn that I would like to call... "Cheer-creepers"

Andy draws the word "Cheer" on his half and Thorne draws the word "Creepers" on his. The camera then closes in on the panorama and it dissolves to full color. A dark starry night with the full moon high above the Summer Camp. The joyful sounds of an all-female crowd plays in the distance as the camera pans over, going past a parking lot with various types of vehicles including the Little Yellow VW bug that the 'Away' Cheerleaders drive.
The camera then pans past a large sign marked "Camp Cheeraway"before it goes through the woods to a large area where dozens of cheerleaders all congregate in front of a large stage.
In the stage is Julie Bruin in a Blue and yellow cheerleading uniform with the WB shield emblazoned across the yellow sweater. Behind her to the left is Lola Bunny in a White and Blue Acme Loo Cheerleading uniform and to the right is Minerva Mink in the Black and White Perfecto Prep Cheerleading uniform. 
The trio shake their Pom-Poms enthusiastically and chant.

Julie/Minerva/Lola: (in unison)
Shake em to the left! 
Shake em to the right!
Welcome to the camp
This Hot summer Night!
IF you traveled far,
Or if you live near,
We are all united
By a need to cheer!
YAAAAY!

Lola and Minerva laugh and relax as Julie talks into the microphone.

Julie:
Well we don't do much cheerleading as we once did and heaven knows the uniforms fit a little more snug these days but it's good to know we can still shake a mean Pom-Pom.
Hi. I'm Julie Bruin, and these are my friends Minerva Mink and Lola Bunny and we will be your hosts for your stay at Camp Cheeraway. Now as you may have guessed we're not all from the same schools... but we hope that like us three you young ladies... and the occasional gentleman, will all wind up developing friendships that go beyond simple school rivalry. I hope to see you all at the extracurricular events that I have planned to help promote such lasting friendships.

Lola:
That's right. And we encourage you all to mingle during the training we have lined up. I'm certain I don't have to remind you all that Cheerleading is as much a sport these days as Football, Baseball or Soccer. I'll be in charge of the physical routines that you young cheerleaders will be taking part in. 

Minerva: (Glancing over at Lola with a sneer)
And speaking of routines it's my job to teach you all the ins-and-outs of choreographed dance as well as how to give a hundred and ten percent and still look drop dead gorgeous. It's not as easy as you think to be a gorgeous Cheerleader Mink.

Julie:
So work hard and have fun Girls! ...I mean People!

Cut to the cheerleaders walking away from the main area. The camera focuses on Sphinxy, Binky and Bimbette.

Bimbette:
Wow. Those three may be old school but they still got it. 

Binky:
You think we'll be that hot at their age?

Sphinxy:
Not unless I start aging in reverse.

The trio laugh when the literally run right into Perfecto's Cheerleaders Rhubella, Margot and Bernice. They all scramble to their feet in a tense face-off.

Rhubella:
I thought I smelled the taint of failure on the air. Hello Acme Loo-sers.

Sphinxy:
Oh joy... its you three... the Perfecto cheerleaders Rhubella Rat, Margot Mallard and Bernice Beauvine.

Margot:
We know full well who we are, you dusty old anomaly.

Sphinxy:
I was reciting your names for the folks at home who may have no idea who you are as of yet.

Margot:
Ah... Then, we meet again Sphinxy, Binky Bunny and Bimbette Polecat.

All six girls turn to look at the camera with a nod then back at one another.

Bimbette:
Look, girls... You heard the hosts. This is more than an excuse to do the school rivalry thing. We're supposed to be... friendly.

Binky:
Should we break into a song?

Sphinxy:
No, Binky. 

Rhubella:
Let's come to an agreement then. You stay out of our way and we stay out of yours. Do we have a deal, Miss Antique?

Sphinxy:
Deal. Miss RAT.

The Cheerleaders all shake hands and then walk off in different directions. The Acmes look at their own hands.

Bimbette:
All fingers accounted for.

Sphinxy:
Same here. Binky?

Binky:
Did I always have three fingers and a thumb?

Bernice:
Rhubella. You have something up your furtight sleeve. Don't you?

Margot:
Oh yes. I know she must. Please, do share with us Rhuby.

Rhubella:
Wether those three know or not, our performance is graded by the Hosts. At the end of our stay the coveted colden Pom-Pom award. Something the Perfectos have yet to lose... and I have no intention of breaking that tradition... or our school motto!

Rhubella, / Bernice / Margot: (in unison)
"We never lose!"

They suddenly stop and look around at the sudden lack of a visible path.

Margot:
How odd. There was a Path here a moment ago.

Rhubella:
And where did the path we came up from vanish to?

Bernice:
Uh... ladies. I don't think... *MMPH!*

Bernice is suddenly seized by some vines and pulled up into the tree branches leaving the two others behind. 

Margot:
...M'yes. But fortunately for you we don't keep you around to think, do we Bernice? ...Bernice?

Rhubella:
Where did she go? She was right here! 

Margot:
I know that! A Six hundred pound Cow doesn't just vanish without a trace.

More vines drop from the branches and seize Rhubella and lift her up into the boughs, leaving Margot all alone.

Margot:
Rhubella? Bernice? If this is a trick then I am not amused.

The vines slowly dangle down around Margot and as they begin to reach out for her, she backs away from them.

Margot:
Oh no! NO! I *KNOW* what's going on here! 
I'm a cheerleader who's walked into a Japanese Cartoon! NOOOOO!

Cut to the early morning. A rooster crows in the distance (adding in a RAH-RAH-RAH for effect) The Acme Cheerleaders who are at a cafeteria table eating. The Perfectos walk up and sit down across from them with big friendly smiles, each one of them sporting a beautiful white and red Orchid in their hair.

Sphinxy:
You know... what really gets me is that if this camp is so important to cheerleaders then where are 'The amazing three'?

Bimbette:
You mean Babs, Fifi and Shirley? They're here... they just don't have any lines.

Binky:
Why don't we have a neat name like that?

Bimbette:
Binky has a point. We deserve a title like 'The Amazing Three'.

Sphinxy:
How about the Teriffic Trio.

Binky:
I like it!

Bimbette:
Uh oh. Here come the Terrible Triune.

Rhuby/ Margot/ Bernice: (in unison)	
Hello there cheerleading compatriots. Isn't it a wonderful day?

Binky:
Yes it is! Thank you for noticing!

Rhubella:
I'd like to apologise for how I acted yesterday. It was a very disharmonious display.

Bernice:
Indeed. In the spirit of the camp we should all be working together to further the goals of cheerleaderkind.

Sphinxy:
Apologise?

Bimbette:
Cheerleaderkind?

Binky:
Disharmonious?

Margot: 
Yes. In a cheerleading squad there is no 'I'. Only through unity can the goals of the squad be actualized.

Sphinxy:
Yes. Very profound... pardon us for a moment, ladies. (Mutters) Huddle time girls.

The Terrific Trio huddle as the Terrible Triune smile blankly and sink their fingers into their bowls of oatmeal.

Sphinxy:
Is it just me or are the Perfectos acting strangely?

Binky:
Well... they are eating oatmeal with their fingers.

Bimbette:
Yeah. They usually would use a spoon for that.

Binky:
No... I mean they're eating oatmeal with their FINGERS.

Sphinxy:
Yyyyyyyeah. That's it. When people start eating breakfast via osmosis it's time to run for the hills.

Bimbette:
Well it's been a wonderful breakfast with you Perfectos but... we gotta go now.

Sphinxy:
Yep. We have to make it to the first exercise class and... Binky still has to powder her nose.

Binky: (Giggles)
It's not easy as it sounds when the powder puff is on the wrong end.

The Terrific Trio stand up to go but the Perfecto cheerleaders all stand up and speak in unison.

Rhubella / Margot / Bernice: 
We cannot allow that. You have not yet been geminated.

Binky:
Geminated? What's that? Sounds icky.

The flowers in their hair begin to writhe and a little eyeball open in the middle.  All around the Terrific Trio the cheerleaders at all of the other tables stand and speak in unison with the Perfectos. Each one bears the same flower in their hair.

The Unity: (Monotone chorus)
The Unity is all. 
When you have been Geminated you will understand. 
Only through Gemination will a million voices be one. 
Perfect harmony shall be achieved, just like a cheer squad.

Bimbette:
We're outnumbered!

Sphinxy:
We're Surrounded!

Binky:
We're the Terrific Trio!

Bimbette:
May I suggest, a 'runaway' montage?

Sphinxy:
I like how you think Bimbette.

The Terrific Trio begin the chase scene by running to the door, the lively tune of Yakkity Sax (The Benny Hill Theme) plays adding even more animation to their escape antics.

Running from the flower-bearing Mob the Trio run out the door of the cafeteria and onto the open camp grounds. The camera cuts to two rows of cabins with their entrances facing one another. Little Sneezer in the foreground apparently playing Yakkity Sax on his Saxophone.
The Trio run into frame and into one of the cabins with the Unity Cheerleaders in hot pursuit.
The classic 'Scooby Doo Door Gag' follows. 

The chase continues past the shower stalls. Binky, Sphinxy and Bimbette run into the boy's showers for a moment. Not realising the deception, the crowd of girls run past. There's a sudden three-voice shriek and the Trio runs back out of the boy's showers and out stumbles Ralph (Who's Ralph?) in nothing but a towel, shaking his fist in the air

Running amid a great amount of clotheslines behind the laundry building the Trio split up for a moment. Bimbette and Sphinxy moving to the two poles of one such line and lowering the line to around waist level. Binky stands a few feet away from the middle as the Unity Cheerleaders seeing only Binky, run straight at her, hitting the white rope as a group... stretching it taut. 
Binky blows them a kiss it recoils and launches all of the dangerous cheerleaders into the lake like a slingshot.

Sphinxy:
Well, that was fun.

Binky: (Giggles)
Yeah. What's for an encore?

Three pairs of hands grab the Trio by the shoulders and lift the girls helplessly into the air. They squirm and glance behind them to see Lola holding Bimbette, Minerva holding Sphinxy and Julie holding Binky. Each of the ladies bears one of those tell-tale flowers in their hair.

Lola:
You will come with us.

Minerva:
The queen summons you.

Julie:
I... have no dialogue in this scene.

Binky:
At least she's honest about it.

Cut to a dark mossy glen. Streams of golden sunlight stream through the boughs lighting up dust motes in the air. Lola, Minerva and Julie stride purposefully into the glen and casually toss Sphinxy, Bimbette and Binky onto the ground. Sphinxy is the one to look up and stare first as her friends groan in pain.

Bimbette:
Oww! Not so hard!

Binky:
Why do I always land on my bottom? 

Sphinxy:
Good gravy... Girls. I think we've met the enemy.

Cue dramatic revelation music. 
The Camera cuts to behind the Trio, panning up slowly to show a massive twisted tree the size of a house. Hundreds of pods hang from it's branches showing the Camp's cheerleaders suspended in a Glowing blue goo within. In the middle of the tree's trunk is secondary tree. An old fashioned 'cartoon' tree with a smiling face and feminine features

Binky:
Wow. It's an old fashioned Cartoon tree that somehow has grown into a parasitic life form. It holds the original cheerleaders in suspension like some manner of 'Blue Harvest' and makes plant-based duplicates to sends forth into the world doing her will in a bid for global takeover.

Sphinxy and Bimbette pause, then slowly turn their heads to gawk at Binky.

Binky:
Well *I* thought it was obvious.

The Green Queen:
Perhaps it is. I am the master mind of this green revolution. The Plant Manager, if you will. You may call me, the Green Queen.

Sphinxy:
Ah. Pleased to meet you.

The Green Queen:
I suppose this is the part where I tell you all about how by making copies of cheerleaders I can lure yet MORE people into my loving embrace where they can enjoy being part of nature... forever. 
Buuuuuuut I just don't feel like it so let us cut to the part where I make duplicates of you. 
Bring them to me, my seedlings.

Lola, Julie and Minerva grab The Trio again and they struggle as they're forced towards the Green Mother and three empty pods.

Sphinxy:
I did NOT live this long just to be plant food!

Binky:
This looks like it's gonna hurt!

They all scream at the same time when all of a sudden Binky and Sphinxy stop, and sniff the air. They cover their noses and look accusingly at Bimbette.

Binky:
Ewww. That wasn't me!

Sphinxy:
Bimbette! Did you just... Spray?

Bimbette:
I'm scared. OK? It just crept out!

Sphinxy:
Ugh. If this is what happens when you're scared,  I now know why you're so careful to stay cheerful.

Binky:
My eyes are burning! I can't breathe! I think my Pom-Poms are melting... Are plants supposed to turn brown like that?

The Vines holding up the Trio begin to droop and turn brown and lower them to the ground. Binky and Sphinxy look at Bimbette and the dying vines in awe.

Sphinxy:
Bimbette! I hate to say it but I'm impressed. Is this stuff usually so potent?

Bimbette:
I... I've been trying to be polite and not do this in the presence of my friends.

Binky:
You've been saving up?

Binky: (Blushing in embarassment)
That's putting it politely.

The Green Queen:
Come to me my children! Destroy them! Crush them!
Remember, Heaven is Green.... TOMORROW THE WORLD!

All the Camp Cheeraway clones come out of the bushes walking towards the Terrific Trio with murderous intent. Binky and Sphinxy together pick up Bimbette and point her tail-first at the oncoming horde.

Bimbette:
Hey! Wait! What are you doing?

Sphinxy:
Bimbette, you have the answer to our plant problems in the palm of your tail.

Bimbette:
WHAT? 

Binky:
You can do the skunk thing in front of us, Bimbette. We don't mind.

Bimbette:
Wait... you want use me like... organic weed killer?

Sphinxy:
You got it in one Bimbette. This is your one big chance to let 'er rip and show us all what you can *REALLY*  do. And we won't be grossed out.

Binky: (Cheerfully)
Promise!

Bimbette looks at the laughing tree and the dozens of Cheer-Clones. Setting her jaw she takes a deep breath.

Bimbette:
Hey... Green Queen!
Time to pack up your trunk and leaves!

Cut to an aerial view of the forest.  The area is calm for a moment then there's a dull *WHUMP* and a ring shaped shockwave ripples through the trees. For a moment all is calm, then a pink colored fog rises up through the branches and blows away leaving a large brown circle behind.

Cut to the glen again, The ersatz cheerleaders cry in anguish as they turn green, then brown, falling over to the devastated earth as dried out dead husks of plant matter. 
The Green Queen herself is shriveling up while her blue fruits fall from her branches to spatter on the ground, releasing her captives.

The Green Queen:
Oh What a world, what a world. 
Who'd have thought a stinky little skunk like you could destroy my beautiful foliage.
Oh! I'm Rotting! I'm Rotting!

The gargantuan tree groans and cracks under it's own weight, falling over and turning an ash grey before the Trio's eyes. The other cheerleaders and the hosts stand up from the remains of their sticky prisons and holding their noses, walk over to where Binky toes the now dead Green Queen with her foot.

Minerva:
You girls saved us all.

Lola:
By working as a team you freed us from the Green Queen's clutches.

Julie:
And you made it look sooooo easy! How did you do it?

Binky:
I dunno. I guess we caught her with her plants down.

Everyone's agonized groans are caught frozen in mid-frame, the panel dissolving to the now familiar pencil sketch. 

Duncan and Skippy look at the easels and make faces, voicing their displeasure.

Skippy:
That might have been creepy but it was all about... GIRLS!

Duncan:
Yeah. The Monster was cool but girls are just plain gross.

Duncan and Skippy in unison:
GIRLS! SPEEEEEEEEW!

Plucky: (With a smirk)
Give it a couple of years, boys. You'll change your tune.

Skippy:
Aw comeon! Even *I* could tell you were pandering with wanton cheesecake!

Thorne and Andy look up and smile as Anne Scisor (Vampire Receptionist from "Nothing to Sneeze At") and Kate O'Waul (The 'cured' Banshee from "Pluck of the Irish") practically drape themselves over the artists and hand them large steaming mugs of Cocoa.
Thorne looks at Skippy, back at Anne, then back at Skippy and snickers.

Thorne:
You make that sound like a BAD thing.

Andy:
Mmm. It's a loss without a lass.

Plucky:
In any case you boys have passed the test. 

Duncan:
Test?

Plucky:
A test of your intestinal fortitude. You are definitely brave enough to face anything the Carn-Evil can throw at you.

Skippy:
So we're in?

Plucky:
Like Flynn! Except for the kisses.

Skippy and Duncan: (Together)
Except for the what-now?

Plucky:
The good-luck kisses from our lovely, lovely Financier. It's a tradition.
Oh Mitzie! 

The Door to the box office opens wide and out walks Mitzi Avery (From "Prom-ice her anything") wearing her own version of Plucky's Carnival Barker's outfit. She hops down the three stairs and over to the campfire where Duncan and Skippy back slowly away in fear. She easily scoops them into her arms and hugs them close as they writhe and struggle..

Mitzi:
Oh! Are these the townies who want to become Carnies? Oh! They're so fuzzy!
Do they want their lucky Kisses? I think they do, yes they do!

Skippy and Duncan: (Together)
*NO!*

Skippy:
This is *WORSE* than creamed spinach!

Duncan:
AGH! She's gonna Kiss me! I wanna go home!

Skippy and Duncan: (Together)
Auntie Em! Auntie Em! 
There's no place like home! 
There's no place like home!

Their struggles finally get them free of Mitzi's embrace and scurry off into the distance. Mitzi pouts and sighs.

Mitzi:
Oh Poop. The first time we actually GET kids running away to our circus and I blow it.

Plucky:
Oh Not your fault. You know how boys can be. Now let's see about auditioning those new acts, shall we?

Mitzi:
Oh! Let's do! I saw one circus act that was a real killer. It goes straight for the juggler.


Cut to the end credits
Up the end TTA theme song

Starring:
Skippy Squirrel
Duncan Bunny
Plucky
Thorne Mouse
Andy Bunny
Granny
Fowlmouth
Shirley McLoon
Babs Bunny
Fifi LaFume
The Pumpkin Guy
Daffy Duck
Buster Bunny
Various Zombies
Julie Bruin
Minerva Mink
Lola Bunny
Sphinxy
Bimbette Polecat
Binky Bunny
Rhubella Rat
Margot Mallard
Bernice Beauvine
Mitzi Avery

"Cheesecake: It does a story good."

Stinger:
Julie Bruin, Lola Bunny and Minerva Mink pop up in the middle of the TTA rings. Still dressed in their cheerleading uniforms they shake their pom-poms and cheer.

Julie / Lola / Minerva: (in unison)
He's so handsome!
He's so able!
He's the guy, 
We call DuSable!
YAAAAYYY, ABEL DUSABLE! WHOO!

Abel pops up between all three and grins as they hug him enthusiastically.

Abel:
What can I say? 
I wrote this thing.

-END-

*In Honor of Andy Bunny ( A.G.I. ) and Thorne Mouse, who have illustrated my Spooky Stories in the past.  Hope you enjoyed this one guys. ;) *